In My Heart

Just a couple weeks ago, my daughter pulled my heart strings and convicted me over my desire for God. It started when my family and I were getting ready to eat supper. I asked who wanted to pray for the meal and talk to God. Elliot, my middle child, volunteered. After his prayer, the supper conversation transitioned into talking about the time both of my sons asked Jesus to save them. It wasn’t long though that Eliana, my three year old daughter, began to cry. All of us around the table quickly asked her what was wrong. She wailed, “Jesus isn’t in my heart! He’s in their’s heart but not in my heart!” My wife and I tried to console her and tell her how Jesus loved her and He hears the cry of those who want Him. Some may say that I should have gotten into the deep discussion of how she already bears childlike faith and is not at an “age of accountability,” but lest I cause much confusion, I simply reiterated the love of Christ and the promise that all who calls upon Him will receive Him. I tried to get her to repeat a simple prayer, but that night, my daughter tearfully went to sleep while saying, “I want Jesus in my heart.” Was her desire predicated on the fact that her brothers had something she didn’t? Perhaps, but in the midst of her innocent tears, I could see a glimpse of a heart that just wanted Jesus.

Most gracious Savior, may our hardened hearts come back to a childlike longing of wanting only You! Just as David declared, “When thou saidst, Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy face, LORD, will I seek” (Psalms 27:8), so may we cry out in humble desire for the beautiful light of Christ to shine upon us. How many times have we sought to “run with endurance the race that is set before us,” yet we forget the very foundation of our call is to be “looking to Jesus?” In order for our lives to run with endurance, we must learn the joy of sitting in His presence. So often I have heard preachers present God as a Master who only aims to make His children work for His favor. You have the TV “evangelist” who declares one must exercise a lot of faith to find healing or give much monetarily to receive spiritual blessings. You have another hard-nosed speaker declaring to a church congregation that the only way they will experience “revival” is by working for it by long, pleading prayers, an unwavering devotion to the revival meetings, and again, giving until it hurts.

The message of the prophets to the masses was almost always: return to the Lord! No stringent formulas, no cries for exaggerated emotions, or calls for a spiritual spectacle. Only return! Just like the prodigal son, one is simply to come back to where he belongs, to return to the loving arms of the Father. Jesus declared in Matthew 11:28, “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” He wants us to draw close in fervent love and silent humility. In Luke 18, we find the disciples berating parents for bringing their infants to Jesus, so that He could hold them. Perhaps they thought, how dare these people do such a thing! Jesus is too busy ministering, healing, and teaching. He has no time to be a measly babysitter! Oddly enough, Jesus soundly rebukes His disciples and says, “Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it (vs. 17-18 / ESV)."

Give me a child’s heart once again Lord! It is true that I need maturity of mind in Your Word, but may my heart never grow callous in self righteous pride and fleshly ambition! My hope is in You. Keep me like a child. If you read on further into Luke 18, you will learn about the blind beggar who heard a massive crowd passing by and found out that they were following Jesus. Upon realizing this, he cried out, "Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!" Amazingly, the more the crowd pressed him to keep quiet, the louder he became. It is certain that some in the crowd said to one another, “This stubborn man is making a fool of himself. Who does he think he is, crying out to Jesus like that?” Like a child, this man was not concerned with the status quo, how he sounded to the masses, or the peer pressure of others. He knew one thing: Jesus could make him whole. This hope was all he needed to steadfastly cry out in faith. Jesus ordered the people to bring the blind man to Him. Soon after, this man walked away with his sight restored, his soul renewed, and his heart rejoicing.

Oh the joy to experience Your love Jesus! Such love was revealed through Your care for the outcast, the lowly and the weak. In a tree, Zacchaeus sought to see over the multitude and look upon You’re face. He was a man of little stature and even smaller character, but at that moment, he only wanted to see You! Oh how surprised he was, when You looked upon him intently and told him that you were going to eat with him! What wonder that You would grace his home with Your presence and eventually fill his heart with Your love! Jesus, I am weak. I am little. I am prone to wander from Your will. Grace me with Your presence once more. Fill me with Your love. Asaph passionately cried out, “Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever (Psalms 73:25-26).” I was a child, when I asked You to come into my heart, but now Lord, I ask You to be my heart.