I hate cliques. In no way do I mean the individuals, but more along the lines of the ideology. As the old adage goes, “It's us four and no more.” Yes, that's the attitude I'm referring to. You may wonder, does my disdain for such “grouping” branch out of a righteous zeal or a compassion for the ones left out? I wish these were the reasons. No, my grounds for contempt is completely selfish for it comes from self pity.
You see, my older brother and I were home-schooled. Trust me, I consider it a blessing in so many ways, but in enhancing popularity and instilling a gregarious attitude, it was a curse. Our rides on the church bus and church youth activities were our main outlets to social connection. Yet, many times it was as if we were simply flies on a wall. We were just there, peering at the different groups, while they gave quick glances our way, wondering when we would fly home.
Sadly, because of my brother's astounding intelligence, he would receive more ridicule than I would. On top of our low social status, financially my family barely made it. For some time, my mother could only work part-time to support three kids, making just $10,000 a year. On youth canvassing trips, my brother and I were the teens that begged the youth minister to stop at McDonald's, instead of Ruby Tuesday. We were the teens that would try to work at the church, when we wanted to go on a big youth trip. We were the teens that on occasions came to services with ripped and faded clothing. The reason is harsh, but poverty makes it easy for one to be a social “outcast.”
When it comes to cliques, there are far too many kids and teenagers that have experienced (perhaps even you) rejection and ridicule. It is tough. However, these painful factions do not end in high-school, or even college. Like the Energizer bunny, they can keep “going and going and going”. What is important to note is that when you are dealing with certain groups/cliques, you are dealing with an “Elitist” attitude which branches far beyond a few people gathering together. This “superior” mindset is found across the nation whether it is in schools, businesses, and yes most definitely, in churches. It is masked well in people's hearts. I've seen it come in many forms, but it always has the same terrible odor of pride and stubbornness. It is an inward root of the most rotten kind.
I cringe to think about how easily I was drawn into this “Elite” way of living, as I got older. For me, it was hidden under my supposedly justifiable mindset of “denominational pride.” Oh yes, I learned to “touch not the unclean thing” which simply meant that I was to stick my nose up at certain people who were more ignorant in biblical matters than I was or those affiliated with some other denomination. I learned to sneer at those who did not have the same Bible version that I did, even though they practically loved His word just as much, if not more than me. In Bible college, I learned the art of categorizing people's spiritual walk. I had the nerve to say who was “liberal (less godly)” and who was “conservative (more godly)” by what Christian music they listened to, what church they attended, and what clothes they wore. Oh, I was disgustingly elite. After college, through my personal studies of scripture, God began to peel away my masked pride. It took time, but His Word pierced my stubborn outlook and pushed down the wall of self-righteous ability and self uplifting ambition.
I had to come back to that child who quietly rode the church bus. I had to be brought to my knees in brokenness to see that this is exactly how I was to act towards others. No mindset of superiority, but simply a heart-kneeling humility. I am not the pomp ruler sitting at the end of the table, but I am to be the ready servant that has a towel in his hand and a basin at his feet. My call is not to become an elitist of some “conservative” group, but to be a channel of God's love. Paul writes in Romans 15:2, “Let every one of us please his neighbour for his good to edification.” I have no true power until I am crucified within, and I serve no true purpose until I seek to edify without.
To live like this, one thing must certainly be tossed aside: the pride of knowledge. You see, the later part of 1 Corinthians 8:1 says, “...Knowledge puffeth up, but charity edifieth.” Only a few years ago did I realize how much pride and trust I had in what “I knew.” It was so easy for me to put God and His ways in some doctrinal box. To be “puffed” up over how much I knew and used spiritual jargon or could intelligently quote vast amounts of scripture. To boast in my knowledge and keeping of religious principles (Many simply were man made preferences). The more I learned, the more prideful I became. Now, understand that by no means am I advocated a life of ignorance. We are called to “study to shew ourselves approved unto God.” We're servants of love, but we're also students of His Word. Becoming “puffed up” is when God's Word is a textbook of rules and regulations to us and not a living book that flows forth love, hope, and grace. When it simply fills our minds, but does not grip our hearts. It begins in the moment that I no longer read God's Word with humbleness and a passion to lovingly edify others, but with a pious stubbornness and a desire to merely justify my preferences.
The study of theology is to be mixed with the humility of the heart and the wonder of the soul. To have a child-like awe and a servant-hood aspiration. The essence of holiness is availability not intelligibility. It's not when I can package my Christianity, crossing all the “t's” and dotting every “i”, but when I just cherish Jesus and long for others to come to that point as well. Don't be an elitist. Don't be the “snob” conformed in the crowd, be the servant transformed by His love. One day Jesus will return and judge the “elite”, and believe me when that day comes, no one will want to be part of a clique. Isaiah 2:10-12, “Enter into the rock, and hide thee in the dust, for fear of the LORD, and for the glory of his majesty. The lofty looks of man shall be humbled, and the haughtiness of men shall be bowed down, and the LORD alone shall be exalted in that day. For the day of the LORD of hosts shall be upon every one that is proud and lofty, and upon every one that is lifted up; and he shall be brought low.”
****By the way, there is certainly an upside to mine and my brother's story, for no matter how foolish people are, God is always faithful. My brother has a good job, good friends, and is a phenomenal computer technician. God has blessed me with a wonderful family and a great privilege to preach His Word and share His love.****
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